State of the Union 2026 Part 1

2/25/2026

Well, I must confess, I did not watch the State of the Union last night. I never planned on it. Listening to the orange turd speak makes me physically ill. Watching him stand at a podium droning on and one with his hate filled vitriol alternating with his nonsense makes me nauseous. He becomes the conglomeration of every man that has ever abused me, whether it be sexually, physically, emotionally, or mentally. If he has left some sort of scar on me, he is part of that conglomeration that is our criminal-in-chief. If I close my eyes so I don't have to see him, I can feel him speaking directly into my ear, his hot breath and spittle against my ear.

I have to be ready and in a safe place when I watch him speak for any extended duration of time and from what I hear, last night was a doozy! The reports are coming in at over two hours and the longest presidential speech ever. Because….. of course it is. It's the orange asshat talking, all eyes are on him, it's his favorite time of day. I'm sure he'll go off script.......often. I will approach the State of the Union like I did the United States Declaration of Independence. I will write my blog as I watch the State of the Union and dissect it as he speaks. I can pause it and write; it'll be great.

It really does make me sick to see him there with his stupid smile looking around like a complete dumb ass. Oh, good, we gave the Slovenian first hooker of the United States a standing ovation. She didn't look happy when the second lady got a standing ovation, just saying. Phew, if looks could kill.

Apparently we are now in the Golden Age of America. I had heard rumors of this before, but I guess this makes it official. So, if you didn't see the State of the Union last night, you heard it here, Golden Age of 'Merica!!

This man is delusional!! According to him our economy was in the toilet, inflation was skyrocketing and is now lower than ever before.

"Our enemies are scared" Most United States citizens don't even know who our enemies are anymore. We all used to think that Russia was our enemy. Is that even still the case? Because to most of the country it looks like Russia pulls the strings of an orange faced puppet and his marionette brigade. The current regime seems more content with insulting and threatening our allies than with keeping them allies. I mean are Canada, Denmark, and France supposed to be our enemies now? I'm so confused. Yes, everyone is scared because an unhinged asshat is the leader of what was once considered the free world, and now has the keys to the nukes. That's the only reason why anyone is scared, dipshit.

"America is respected again." I had to laugh at this one for a while. That asshat has turned our country and our government into a giant shitshow. This is what happens when we elect a petulant narcissistic sexual predator who's only claim to fame was that he was reality TV star as a washed up business man. Other countries are laughing at us. People in other countries are asking, "Why aren't you doing anything?" and "Why are you letting him destroy your country?" Newspapers and journalists mock our president daily. Vulgar statues and operettas are being put on depicting him as a pig faced dictator. Other countries do not respect us. They are laughing at him. Some of us them look at in disgust. Some of us them, pity.

"In the last nine months zero illegal aliens have been admitted to the United States, but we will always allow people to come in legally……" what a bunch of bullshit. I am not going to sit here and fact check everything this asshole says it will take forever. I mean, we are ten minutes into a "historic two hour speech" and I've blathered on for almost seven hundred words already. It's just the introduction part of his fucking speech. This is going to take forever. I am not breaking down this whole thing, but, no fucking way did zero people sneak over our borders illegally. I am calling a big fat

BULLSHIT!!!!

I mean c'mon. Then cut to the Kristi the puppy killer Noem. That whole regime is like a family reunion. Kristi is the weird cousin that likes to burn ants with a magnifying glass and when she's found out to be a serial killer and her parents admit they couldn't have family pets, you admit you always hated hanging out with her. Then, old drunk Aunt Pam. I saw it at the oversight hearing. The clear signs of someone who likes to drink……. lot………often……..maybe with a few benzos popped in every once in a while. I had an "Aunt Pam". Actually I had a lot of Aunt Pams, LOL!!! Then of course, our POTUS is Uncle Perv. Our family Uncle Perv even grabbed my ass at my mom's second wedding. What a way to be welcomed to the family, right. (Now, I didn't really have that weird cousin, but Uncle Perv did go crazy after my stepfather died and shot my stepbrother five times so I'm going to use him for the pervert and crazy family member.) Then of course, everyone has the closet addict in the family like Rubio. That was me for a while. Then we have Hegseth, the racist. Does everyone have a racist in their family? I have to admit that it was our family matriarch. We tried to give her some grace, due to her age, but we all flinched and tried to explain to her why what she was saying is so wrong whenever she would say something that would remind us of her upbringing. There's Mike Johnson; he reminds me of a Casper Milquetoast, a soft doughy bootlicker tattletale. Oh yeah, every family has there fair share of those. Of course we never had any furniture fuckers in our family. I don't think that's very common. And whatever the hell Stephen Miller is, I don't know an embodiment of evil or something. We didn't have any of those either.

Wow, total digression there, sorry folks. I got distracted by the cut to Kristi Noem. It was funny because in front of her was Cunt Bondi and Nazi Hegseth. Noem was trying to pull off that look of I'm trying not to smile but yes I am the reason he's lying and saying we have zero illegal border crossings. I'm good at my job. Meanwhile, Cunt is in front with her Nazi fuck buddy with her little "Daddy did I do good?" smile and I can't help thinking they are like his demented kids all looking up to him like his fucked up children do. "Daddy, tell me I did good. Daddy, tell me I'm a good boy. Daddy, tell me I'm a good girl. Daddy, let me have some more."

Okay, so twelve minutes in, I took my first break. I realized I need to smoke more if I was going to do this without my blood pressure going through the roof. So I loaded up the bong. Then, I cleaned the kitchen, started the dishwasher, started the laundry, and made another cup of Earl Grey. While the water in the teapot came to a boil, I thought about my old friend Stefanie. When Stefanie was a child she stuck a screwdriver in her ear. To this day she is still deaf in that ear. She is a stand up comic out in LA now. It makes 100% sense. I bet she's funny as shit on stage. I thought about how Stefanie stuck that screw driver in her ear and I started thinking about sticking a screwdriver in my ear…..….for a while. Then I heard the voice of one of my old boss's in my head, "God hates a coward." I knew she was right. I sucked it up and I suffered through another eight minutes of the hell of watching that vile disgusting piece of shit.

The whole time he is talking, he's doing it with these weird hand and lip gesticulation, and all you can see are his prominent floating bottom teeth. Then in the background are Chump's two jesters Couchfucker Vance and Doughboy Johnson. Giggling together and standing when are supposed to just like the good little lap dogs that they are.

So, here we are. I made it through twenty minutes. I will try to power through more tomorrow and Friday. I'm sure you can't wait to be enchanted by my ingenious views on our blubbering idiot of a sexual predator many call president.